Perspective

I got a letter from a good friend of mine the other day. She is worried about me, and I can understand why. I recently opened myself up to a paradigm shift, one that nearly everyone I know would disagree with completely. I myself haven't decided either in favor or against, but here is my response to her concerns. After I wrote it, I reread it (I get so self-conscious about the things I write), and I was surprised to find how strongly I feel about the things I wrote.

I have edited two things: a name, and a statement I am not completely sure of. I didn't want to put words into mouths where they didn't belong. If any of you are offended, or have any questions, please bear in mind that I am not trying to convert anyone to my way of thinking. I don't want to be a "Bible thumper." I don't like it when people try to undermine my faith, and that is not my intention here. But if a journal of any kind is meant to track one's development, then this letter belongs here.

Friend,

Please don’t think that anything as transitory as the possibility of a new friendship (even one with a pastor) is going to make me automatically decide to do a 180 on the things I believe. And I want to thank you for the rebuking! I know it must have been hard for you to write to me about—of all things—turning tail on my fast-held opinions. It’s not easy to chastise a fellow Jesus-follower, mush less one who is a close friend. So thanks.

Truthfully, I haven’t made up my mind on the homosexuality thing. All I have done is examined a new possibility. And I know you’re thinking “Don’t examine it! Don’t fall into the trap!” But you know me. I think I’m always right, and it’s because I haven’t jumped to my conclusions.

The reality is that you’re right. I have grown into knowing that God loves me and wants me to love Him. And I have been lonely and tired and hungry for my friends and family. So maybe you see that and you’re afraid that I’m vulnerable to the person who comes along and can offer me what I want. Here’s the thing: all I wanted in Ben was a new, fun friend. He’s a fun guy. And all I want from Molly is exactly what she has given me: a breath of fresh air and a new, exciting sense of the wonder and bigness of God’s love and grace.

What Molly advocates is the acceptance of flawed people, in the name of Christ who accepted us all first. Jesus said it: He didn’t come for the healthy but the sick. I’m tired of pretending that just because I’ve never had some of the problems that others have had that I’m a good little Christian. So it goes for strippers and drug addicts, too, like it went for tax collectors and lepers and adulteresses when Christ was walking the earth: We are supposed to be mirrors of the life and love of Jesus in the world. After that, it’s up to them to accept or reject that love. But we’re never going to reach the weary and the heavy-laden by making rules. I want to help people and to tell them that Jesus loves them. How can they hear that if I’m saying in another breath, “You’re a sinner and you’re going to hell!”?

I know how you feel about the non-literal interpretation of God’s Word. But here’s the thing (and understand that I’m not trying to sway your beliefs in any way): no one—no one—interprets the Bible 100% literally. Do you believe that 144,000 people are going to heaven? Or are going to rule heaven?

I’m just trying to pawn off the enormous responsibility of judging people on God. I don’t want to judge people any more; I’ve done that my whole life. I just want to love them in all their flaws and failings, and give them hope. Whoever they are, whatever drug they take, or whomever they love. It’s going to be hard, and I know that in order to really do that I’ll be tempted to say some of the things they do aren’t necessarily wrong. I hope that there will always be someone with another point of view at hand to do what you have done and make sure my compass is pointing in the right direction.

My friend, I feel surer about this than anything else in my walk with God: that I am called to love His people. And Jesus came for all of us, to tear away the veil that separates us from the Father, and to redeem us from sins committed past, present, and future. How much more amazing can you get? We don’t merit that kind of love. That’s the definition of grace: that “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God,” but Jesus still died to love us all more than could have ever been possible. And I’m one of the sinners! I get to partake of that grace! And so does every other person on the planet, if they only believe that Jesus is their Redeemer.

And we get to tell them about it. How better to do that than to show them the love of Christ, rather than the rules of Christianity?

I love you, adopted sister o’ mine. Don’t be worried about my walk with God… It’s better than it’s ever been. And I know I can count on you to be there when I need a sympathetic, straightforward, Godly ear. So keep praying for me, because a life of love without exception is a new one on me. And keep an eye out for the change in the world when we all realize that love is the way to go.

Keep on keepin’ on.

~Lea