Impressionist

Most of the time, I leave a first meeting with someone knowing I made a really great first impression. And that's supposed to be a good thing, right?

But then, I know I'll never be able to live up to that first impression. Certainly, it's me at my best. I'm not trying to create a false impression. I mean, I'm trying to be at my best... Geez, I'm conflicted! I want to be a "what you see is what you get" kind of girl, but I'm bound up in layers of my USMC-issued thick skin and high-school nerd bravado. So I know that the real me isn't always what you see.

Anyway, I think I make a pretty good first impression, because it's easy to be at my best when I'm concentrating. But I can't always be at my best. So I end up knowing that the great first impression (and second, and maybe third and fourth) will only lead to disappointment.

And I hate feeling like I could have--or should have--done better.